Nothing throws a curveball into a couple’s relationship quite like having a baby! On the one hand a new baby has the potential to bring a couple closer together and to amplify the joy in the home. And simultaneously, it brings a whole added load of stressors to the table that the couple now has to navigate. Drs. John and Julie Gottman found in their research that 67% of couples report becoming very unhappy with each other during their first three years of their babies life, while only 33% report that they remained content in their relationship. 

Some of the topics that we can talk through to actively work towards that place of contentment as a couple are:

• Preparing for birth- decision making in the birthing room, how to support the mother during birth, how to help the father feel a part of the birthing process, identifying any boundaries you may want for your baby right after birth- visitors or no visitors in the hospital?, are we ok with family members kissing our baby?, what if loved ones don’t agree with our birthing plan? These are just some examples of the many questions that could arise and there are no right or wrong answers here! A therapist’s job is to help you identify what is the right answer for YOUR family.
• Setting up support in those immediate postpartum weeks and helping both partners understand what is happening hormonally in a mother’s body after birth (the very real experience of the “baby blues” for a majority of postpartum women)
• Sharing parenting tasks and decision making
• Adjusting to demands of baby creating less time and focus on one another (and how to be intentional to get some of that focus back!)
• Allowing each parent to have their own unique relationship with child- and this may mean that you approach parenting in slightly different ways

While I spoke specifically here in this article to some of the specifics involved in a couple bringing their biological child into their family by birth, these conversations are so important to be had however your family is formed. Please schedule an appointment to help prepare for and/or adjust to your role as parents, and we will approach your counseling experience with care and specificity to your unique situation.



By Lauren Owens Hill

MA, LCMHC, PMH-C

Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor,                     
Certified Perinatal Mental Health