Emotional regulation refers to how one handles, processes, or connects with their feelings. Healthy emotional regulation is a practice and often requires a set of fine-tuned skills. Keep reading for some simple and effective strategies for finding and sharing calm through co-regulation with your kiddo.

Emotional co-regulation is an interactive process of “big feeling” support between caretaker and child. You might think of co-regulation as an energy wave or invisible string between nervous systems. As the adult in the dynamic connects to their emotions, their tone of voice is steady and soothing, their body language is calm and confident, their breath is balanced, and their presence is palpable. As an adult finds their connection to feelings, the child is invited to experience and tap into that peace. 

Co-regulation with your child can be practiced and strengthened in various ways. For example, we want to help our kiddos slow down and tune into their emotions rather than avoid them or erupt with them. 

-You can notice your surroundings with the 5 senses together

-You can use gentle hand squeezing or a bear hug if your child is comfortable with physical touch

-You can do a balloon pass or balancing game together

-You can model deep breathing 

-You can use aromatherapy or listen to soft music together

-You can use sensory toys like pop-its or flip sequin pillows together

-You can initiate movement or outside time together

-You can name the emotions out loud, draw them together, or point to them using a feeling chart

Your presence is most important, and most of your focus should be on how you are being rather than what you are doing. 

It might be time to strengthen your co-regulation skills if you notice the following signs in your child:

-Withdrawing

-Perfectionism

-Excessive crying

-Frequent worries, outbursts, fears

-Emotional responses that consistently do not seem to match the situation

You can call Bareiter Counseling Center and inquire about working with a registered play therapist for additional support.

By Caroline Racher Turak