Tips for Parents to Talk with their Teen shared by Charlotte's Therapist

Hannah Tomlinson

Teen Counselor offer tips for supporting your teenager:

  • Do you want to connect? 
  • As much as you can, let them come to you. Questions can often overwhelm kids and teens, and you may get more one-word answers than thoughtful responses. (Rapid fire questions often have this effect.) 
  • Instead, if you are curious about their social lives or what they are learning at school, give them time to come to you when they are ready. 
  • Then, make observations and ask thoughtful questions based on their disclosure.
  • In the meantime, being observant of their feelings and behaviors shows them that you are leaving the door open for these conversations. (*Planning a fun outing to their favorite restaurant or a fun activity is a great door opener for dialogue, as well.) 

  • Are you concerned about behavior?
  •  Find a calm moment without distractions (giving yourself time to think about responding rather than reacting). 
  • Make observations about the behavior and let them know you are concerned and ask about their experience.
  • Seek to understand what has happened and what they need. If it was a personal offense, let your teenager know how their actions impacted you. 
  • If you need to set a new limit or issue a consequence, you can include them in this conversation to focus on a fair solution for you both.
  • Being consistent in both establishing boundaries and consequences will naturally build trust.
  • Leading in this way allows you to maintain structure and model healthy conflict resolution strategies for your teenager. 


Teen Counseling and Parent Counseling
avaiable at Bareiter Counseling Center.

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