Therapists are often taught that the therapeutic alliance or relationship is the most significant factor in growth and healing in the therapy room. This may be surprising for a field with so much research, tools, modalities, and avenues for client care. The reality is that all of these are obsolete if there is no trust or connection between the client and clinician in the therapy room. When clinicians are genuine, empathetic, caring, and intentional, people feel a sense of safety – almost as if they can “exhale.” In this state, a person can have corrective emotional experiences, understand the fundamentals of developing a healthy relationship, feel safe in their bodies, and learn how to regulate their nervous system. 

The therapeutic relationship can help people change. There is no other place where a human is actively listened to, empathized with, and fully enveloped in intimate stories than in a therapy room. Every “mhmm,” mirroring of facial expressions, and reflections spoken back contribute to authentic growth as the client begins to feel deeply heard and known. The therapist is attuned to the client in a way that the client gets to view themselves and how they are in relationships with others. As the therapist interacts with their client with genuine curiosity, the client can understand their own story and make sense of it. 

When selecting a therapist, it's crucial to consider these qualities. How you feel in their presence is significant. It's akin to a well-tended garden bed – a place of nourishment and growth, where you can flourish in ways you might not have expected.

By Sarah Laneve

MA, LCMHCA