Finding Healing through Grief
The Journey of Grief and Healing
A time will come when we all must travel down the pathway of grief to discover a new normal. While over time, society has created timelines and stages to help describe the grieving process, some descriptions can appear rigid, thus limiting the uniqueness of the experience to the individual. Grief appears more as a winding path, which can be moving forwards or backward at differing points, and where the final destination of a new normal will be distinctive to the individual. Here are some markers we may experience along the journey: Shock. Shock could produce feelings such as disbelief or numbness, depending on the nature of the loss. While shock can feel paralyzing to the griever, it also can allow compartmentalization to respond to crisis, therefore having an adaptive function.
After the initial shock, the system eventually moves forward. This is when reality sets in, often accompanied by difficult emotions and symptoms. Physical illness, sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, isolation, and loneliness are just a few of the heavy experiences a griever may face. This phase is often described as 'Disorganization'. It's common for grievers to feel like they're moving backward at this point, but this is a natural part of the journey. As the road winds further, they can find themselves in a state of rebuilding. This is where changed values, new choices, and new meanings can emerge. Memories may feel more balanced or even contain gratitude. It's important to remember that the new normal is always changing, and with each loss or celebration, the way values are integrated into our lives may adapt.
For many, the difficult emotions and symptoms can be a long part of the journey. While each griever may feel alone at times, many have traveled down their own roads of grief and healing. While each pathway may be different, a powerful bond can form between those who have discovered life after loss. Finding community and support in seasons of grief can lighten the load and plant seeds of hope for future travelers.
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor
