Emotional intelligence is a cornerstone of wholesome living in a world marked by diverse interactions and relationships. Renowned organizational psychologist Adam Grant once encapsulated this truth in a thought-provoking quote: "A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from 'you made me feel’ to 'this is how I reacted.'" This shift reflects a deep understanding that while external stimulations influence our emotions, our interpretations and responses shape our emotional landscape. This perspective harmonizes beautifully with our faith values as Christians, calling us to self-awareness, responsibility, and grace. Let's explore how this insight aligns with Christian teachings, enriching our lives and relationships.

Transforming Relationships with Grace:

The transition from 'you made me feel' to 'this is how I reacted' beckons us to mirror Christ's example of grace and forgiveness; by recognizing that emotions blend external factors and our internal responses, we're positioned to extend empathy and compassion. In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus instructs Peter to forgive seven times and seventy-seven times. This endless fount of forgiveness finds its roots in understanding the intricate relations between external circumstances and our emotional reactions. As Christians, we're called to offer this grace to others as God has shown us, nurturing healthier, more loving relationships.

The Ownership of Our Reactions:

In a World where blame-shifting is all too common, the Christian virtue of taking responsibility for our reactions shines. The quote challenges us to move away from giving our power to control our emotions to others and instead acknowledge our personal responsibility for our reactions. This mimics the biblical principle of self-examination, as in Psalm 139:23-24, where we're encouraged to invite God to search our hearts and reveal any hurtful ways within us. Such introspection is full of humility, allowing each person to grow spiritually and emotionally.

Adam Grant's quote, "A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from 'you made me feel' to 'this is how I reacted,'" harmonizes beautifully with Christian values. It prompts us to take ownership of our emotional responses, infuse our relationships with grace, cultivate wisdom, and embark on a journey toward Christlikeness. In a world that often champions blame and emotional reactivity, this shift in perspective invites us to a higher standard of living. As we integrate this wisdom into our lives, we draw nearer to the heart of God, transforming not only our emotional landscape but also the lives of those around us.

Cultivating a Heart of Wisdom:

Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard our hearts diligently, for the springs of life flow from them. Applying the wisdom of this verse, we learn that emotional intelligence involves cultivating a discerning heart that filters external situations through the crystal of truth. Our interpretations play an important role in shaping our emotional responses, and understanding these interpretations with godly values guards us against hasty, potentially harmful reactions. Through prayer, meditation on Scripture, and seeking guidance from mentors, we can develop emotional resilience deeply rooted in Christian values.

By Bareiter Counseling Center Staff in Charlotte, NC