Two unheard hearts cannot make the bridge to a meaningful connection. What is blocking your effort to listen to the person you care for? Is it a lack of curiosity, or do you not know how to make the other person feel heard/understood? The renowned couples therapist and researcher, Dr. Gottman, said that the two people accepting influence from each other can make a meaningful connection in their relationship, which is one of the critical factors of a successful marriage. Accepting influence doesn’t mean agreeing or giving in but being open to the other person's thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It is acknowledging that the person has a valid point on the issue. 

You can use many more skills and tools to improve your communication with your partner–all based on research that was proven to be effective. For example, what you can do to get an understanding of your partner’s dreams and aspirations within the conflicts that you are experiencing, how you can reconcile the arguments that hurt both you and your partner so much, how you can compromise, what it means to have a good argument that leads you to where you want to be with your partner. You can learn what those skills and tools are and how to implement them in your relationship through couples' intensive sessions at Bareiter Counseling Center. 

JoonAh Nesbitt

MA, LCMHCA