Charlotte Therapist Utilizes DBT Skills to Help Reduce Stress and Anxiety in Teens and Adults
Bareiter Therapist Explains how practicing reality acceptance can help reduce stress, anxiety, and intense emotional reactions.
Everyone experiences difficulties and challenges in their lives. One can choose to respond to these challenges in different ways. There are typically five ways to respond to problems.
• Figure out how to solve the problem.
• Change how you feel about the problem.
• Accept it.
• Stay miserable.
• Make things worse by acting on your impulse.
When you can't solve a problem or change how you feel about it, you can learn to accept it. By not accepting it, you only increase the suffering that you experience. It keeps you in painful emotions such as anger, resentment, bitterness, sadness, and despair. When one rejects reality, it does not change reality.
Anyone can learn how to accept reality radically. Doing so teaches you to accept the things you cannot change completely. Then, you view reality for what it really is, even when you don't like it. Acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up. Instead, it means acknowledging, recognizing, and enduring the situation you are facing.
One way to practice accepting something difficult is to practice turning the Mind. Turning the Mind means that you will have to choose the path toward acceptance over and over again instead of choosing to reject reality. First, you want to notice that when you deny reality, you often feel angry, resentful, bitter, willful, or anxious. Commit to accepting the situation once you see that you are rejecting the truth. Again, you will need to continue to turn your Mind toward acceptance. Accepting a difficult situation does not mean you approve of it, are giving in, or are weak. If anything, acceptance takes courage and strength!
Another way to accept reality is to practice willingness. Willfulness is when someone refuses to tolerate a situation, gives up ultimately, or tries to change a problem they cannot change. When one is willing, they recognize what they can't change about a situation and learn to let go of it. It means being practical and making wise choices with what we have and what we can control. One more helpful way to accept reality is to practice mindful breathing in the moment. With regularity, you will develop a more accepting and willing mindset.
At Bareiter Counseling Center, I work with individuals ages twelve and older and families. DBT Skills can be learned through individual and group therapy. To learn more about DBT and how it can help you, please contact 704-334-0524.
