Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy
What is the state of your relationship? Are you feeling stuck – maybe you find yourselves in a recurring cycle. Your disagreement may be over the dishwasher, parenting, vacation, finances. Whatever the topic, it is usually the same pattern of missing each other that spirals downward. Perhaps, you then find yourselves sweeping it under the carpet and ‘moving on’ – but are you really? Our resentments can build. Many couples just do not know how to recover from what Drs. John and Julie Gottman call it a regrettable incident.
Maybe you feel you have lost yourself in your marriage – It is not uncommon for individuals to feel that they cannot remember or don’t know who they are anymore. The roles in a relationship and in parenting can seem to hijack our sense of self. We long to be known, but when stuck in ruts of hurtful or solely surface-level communication, it is easy to feel empty, lonely and missed or misunderstood. So many couples say they feel they have grown apart and find themselves hopeless about the relationship ever getting any better. Or, couples come in for marriage counseling and want to get back to how it was in the beginning. This feeling of losing oneself and/or losing a sense of who they are as a couple can keep you up at night and longing for something better. One or both people in the relationship feel they are sinking into a black hole of hopelessness. Others come in with issues that have become an impasse – whether it is how to parent, perspectives on money, dealing with in-laws, etc.
Some couples find themselves dealing with a third party in the marriage – infidelity, addictive behavior, workaholism, anything that pulls the energy away from the relationship and becomes a harmful wedge. Families have also found their relationship torn by addiction, mental illness, serious medical conditions or other trauma with children or other family members. The trauma of dealing with these issues can impact the marital bond.
Relationship Counseling Means You’re Not Alone
Just know you are not alone – most, if not all, couples go through challenges. Being in a relationship requires being intentional to stay healthy and connected. It is common to think that you will naturally grow together and somehow be resilient to life’s challenges. The problem with this belief is that when bumps in the road or hurdles are encountered, you may not have the tools to work through them together. When couples feel thrown off by life’s difficulties and they find themselves unable to deal well with them, they may see their relationship as the problem. Couples often begin to feel hopeless and alone in their struggles.
EFT Therapy for Couples
Please know that there is help for a marriage or relationship in crisis. There are several researched and effective approaches to couples therapy. At Bareiter Counseling Center, we have licensed marriage and family therapists who have post graduate training and certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). This therapy focuses on attachment needs of couples and fosters a bond that answers the question at the heart of each partner – will you be there for me? Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of EFT describes this therapy as a series of interventions to move clients to core emotions and to a corrective experience of connection.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Another evidence-based therapy is that of Gottman Method Couples Therapy, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This therapy utilizes surveys and exercises to correct methods of communication and connect couples in healthy ways. This model of therapy helps couples hear each other and move towards offering empathy and respect for one another.
How We’re Different: Couples Counseling at Bareiter
One of the many ways Bareiter works differently is offering depth-oriented perspectives and models of therapy that deal with the root causes. Your therapist will get a family history, listening for what dynamics and experiences may be the roots of triggers in the relationship. Know that our school of marriage is watching our parents’ relationship – how they handle conflict, show affection and respect for one another. So often, the hurt experienced as a couple is thought to be solely from their partner. There are times that these wounds originate in childhood. Working with the context of family history can soften the blame and view of one another and hopefully lead to a deeper understanding and feelings of compassion.
Our desire at Bareiter Counseling Center is to instill hope that things can be better and walk with you through marriage counseling to help you heal, grow and transform your relationship into a loving and deeply fulfilling connection.
Our Couples Therapists in Charlotte are Committed to Helping
You may feel that your situation is hopeless. Our therapists have worked with couples in many different places and scenarios of trauma, infidelity, addiction or volatility. There is hope for you – all it requires is your willingness to be open to a new perspective through marriage counseling. Couples must look at their contribution to the struggles or negative cycle; take a stance of humility and get out of the cycle of blame. You can literally have a new and vibrant marriage – it just requires your openness and commitment to the process. We are all on the same team – your relationship is the client – each therapist at Bareiter Counseling Center is committed to helping you have the best possible life together that you can. Call now to schedule with one of our competent therapists and begin your journey.
